My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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