I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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