What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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