i need an iv and a liver transplant
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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