So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
