Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
