I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
its liver damage thursday
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
