Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Can you bring me the toilet please
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
