I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
