when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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