god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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