Redeem this text for a blowjob
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It all started with a game of naked twister.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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