so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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