We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Two words: blizzard sex
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
