Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
fuck your aforementioned shoe
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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