Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
