Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
