If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
