Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
