Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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