So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize