You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize