god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
even my farts smell like vagina
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
