He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
