If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
