why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
