Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
