there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
