he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
