i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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