Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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