am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
