1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Houston, we have a blender
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
