I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
