Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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