her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
