y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
