If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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