I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
