found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Randomize
