Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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