Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
