she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
