Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
