I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
