I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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