i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
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