I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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