Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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