If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
