Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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