they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
