ugly people sure do ruin things
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
