I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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