Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
