glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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