They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize